Um, Er, Can I Get Back to You?

Otherwise known as frequent scenes from my class this quarter.

There's nothing like lecturing about a subject matter that I'm not super familiar with to students who are very smart to make me feel like a complete idiot - on a regular basis.

This quarter I'm teaching about Media Effects & Consequences*. It's a section of media/communication studies that is rooted in psychology and sociology and stats and testing and quantitative mumbo jumbo. I'm more of a critical, cultural theory kinda gal, so sometimes I get a little lost in the details. Like, for example, independent and dependent variables. I swear that when I planned the lecture, I completely understood the two and how they applied to a certain concept we covered tonight. But then, there I was, scratching my head trying to explain it to the students. Not pretty.

There are a lot of um, er, can I get back to you moments. And I'm sort of okay with that. Since this particular class is a graduate-level class, I'm very happy to discuss things with the class and try to figure them out. If that doesn't happen, I'm happy to come home, work through it in my head and try again.

Despite my lack of knowledge on this particular subject, I'm having a great time teaching this quarter. The class is dynamic and interesting. Students aren't afraid to ask questions and state opinions. I want to be an approachable professor and I want students to understand that I don't know everything. But, I can't help wonder if this half in/half out lifestyle is hampering my teaching in a way. I have a variety of responsibilities to deal with every day - from grant writing, to meetings, to cooking, to playing with kids. Pile class prep on those activities and it's no wonder I'm a little off in my presentations. It probably didn't help that I was gone for a longggg weekend and didn't have time to work on lectures last week.

There's no real point to this post, other than to acknowledge that I have a lot of room for growth in my teaching. I'm just happy that I have the chance to stretch my academic muscles every once in awhile.

*For the record, when Benny asked about what I was teaching, I gave him the example of how sometimes we watch TV and sometimes it helps us learn, sometimes it makes us happy, sometimes it scares us - you know examples I thought he could relate to. His response? "Mom, doesn't everybody already know that?" He summarized my own questions about the field I study in one simple sentence. 

Leaping

Even as an adult, I still find Leap Day thrilling. We get ONE EXTRA DAY this year. For some reason, that seems pretty special. And it only happens once every four years. So cool.

So today I'm leaping (metaphorically only, of course, because I'm actually sitting at work until 6). Although we've had a rough couple of weeks in terms of sickness and sleep, I've been pretty copacetic with everything. The kids, despite feeling icky and worn down, have been amazing this week. We spent the day on Monday at the mall - a seemingly insignificant stop. But the kids played at the play area after I replaced my phone. We walked around, ate a snack and made it home before lunch. Then we took a long walk - Benny on his balance bike, Lila in her stroller. And the day made me happy and thankful, once again, that I took the leap of faith to switch career tracks.

Nate and I finally feel like we're financially stable and we're ready to make some more improvements to the house this spring. New windows, new doors and a minor basement remodel. It's exciting to see the house transform into a comfortable, nice place to live. It's been a slow progression and frustrating at times.

There are so many other things to be leaping about on this Leap Day. Benny is starting kindergarten in the fall. He's well on his way to reading. His little spongy mind picks up so much stuff now, it's hard to keep up. Lila is starting to talk. She identifies all of her body parts (and can say most of them). She's an inquisitive, happy little girl. And while Nate and I are busy with work and home life, we seem to have settled into a nice routine of allowing each other to have a small social life. I am incredibly thankful that he was willing to take a leap of faith on me too.

Have a great Leap Day. And remember, it's not every year that you get an extra day to enjoy!

FREE Books

When I was planning my syllabus for this quarter, I was shocked about the price of books. Apparently, I blocked that reality of grad school from my memory. I wondered how the hell I was going to afford the books for the quarter (over $150 - yikes, sorry students!). I've never actually planned my own class. Other professors planned the course schedule and I was a lowly TA. So, I never knew about the "desk copy" concept.

Here's how it works... Consider books for a class and go to a publisher's website. Each publisher has an option for a desk or examination copy. Obviously, not just anyone can order these books. I need all sorts of information to order these copies. But, get this ... I put in an order for a desk copy for my books this quarter and BOOM! they arrived within two weeks. So freaking cool.

I just put in my order for the spring quarter. Do you know what I'm getting for FREE??? The Whole World Is Watching by Todd Gitlin, Radical Media by Robert Downing and Global Activism, Global Media by Lievrau. Do you know how excited I am about this??? This Activist Media class is going to be so kick ass.

Struckman Consulting

Things are a-changing at a rapid pace around here. I feel like I'm finally taking advantage of opportunities for my career, while acknowledging the importance of spending time with my family. As I wrote a few weeks back, I'm teaching in an adjunct position at the University of Denver. My class is going well. It's a lot of work - and responsibility. But I'm thoroughly enjoying being part of the university community again.

I have also been working on becoming an independent consultant for a few months. That included establishing an limited liability corporation and researching other aspects of owning a "business." I put that in quotes because it's really not so much of a business yet. I am happy to report that I have secured my first contract.

That means that I put in my resignation at Mental Health America of Colorado. I have one week to go. I also started working on a contract basis at a great organization. Right now I'm on a short-term contract with the option to extend the contract. I'm also networking with people who may be contacts in the future. This is all so new to me that I'm learning as I go.

What's great about my new arrangement is that I have the kids in daycare three days a week, which allows for a significant savings. I'm working and teaching on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. The kids and I are home together on Monday and Friday. I'm still figuring out how to get everything done in three short days, which usually means working a bunch at night and on the weekends. But, I love that I have figured out a way to spend more time with the kids while continuing to nurture my career. And the autonomy is fantastic!

Once Struckman Consulting gets a website, I'll be sure to share it! Stay tuned for details!

And Now for Something Completely Different

When I first graduated with my PhD, I didn't have a lot of hope for getting a job teaching and researching at a university or college. Nate and I moved to Denver and didn't plan to move away from Denver. Anyone with a new PhD will tell you that you better be prepared to move if you want to get a job. That, or cobble together adjunct positions and other research work. I decided that getting a full-time job in a field completely unrelated to my degree was the way to go. And my PhD has served me well as a grant writer. I get to research and write and use some of my evaluation skills, which has been great.

It's been so great that I never considered doing anything different. I have gotten used to set schedules and benefits and office work. So, when I was approached about teaching a class at the University of Denver, I was a little thrown off. But it didn't take me long to seriously consider the proposition. On January 3, I will return to university as an adjunct professor in DU's Media, Film & Journalism Department. I'll be teaching a graduate seminar on Media Effects and Consequences. And I'm excited. In the spring I get to teach a course on activist media. Anyone who knows my background won't be surprised to hear that I'm really excited  about that!

I do have clarify that I will only be an adjunct and my contract is only good for two classes. I will continue grant writing part-time as well to pay the bills. I have a good feeling about this!

Published. Again.

I've been published again, with the help of my disseration adviser. We collaborated on an article about the coverage of Lynndie England in news and political magazines. Check out the abstract:

Hall (1980) argued that the media articulate non-necessary connections between messages and socially acceptable ideas. This research analyzes the process through which news magazines made a strong connection between Lynndie England and the Abu Ghraib prison scandal and how gender affected these articulations. By making England the symbol of the scandal, the media diverted attention away from broad issues and focused on an individual while reifying dichotomous images of women.

Check out the full article.

Published

Every time I try to pull away from research and academia, something pulls me back in. Two weeks ago, I received my complimentary copy of Muslim Women in War and Crisis. It's a collection of articles about, you guessed it, Muslim women in war and crisis. I wrote one of the chapers. It's a gorgeous book. I'm very proud of my chapter. Last week I received a message from my dissertation advisor. We collaborated on a paper a few years ago. We have submitted it to several journals and have been rejected from them all. The most recent message came with the news that a journal is interested in publishing the article, with a few revisions. Whoa. With all of that news, I decided that maybe it's time to dust off some of my old papers and start submitting them to journals. So this weekend I'm going to spend some time revising a paper I presented at a conference nearly two years ago. It's about women organizing against war. I'll keep you posted...

Hello, Austin. We Meet Again.

 

It's hard for me to believe that I traveled to Austin nearly a month ago to defend my dissertation. These pictures were taken after my defense, during my celebration. A few good friends accompanied me to the Spoon show at the Red Scoot Inn. I had already had a fair amount of Real Ale Rye Moon Ale. Mmmmm. Good beer. Only sold in Texas. Boo.

I had a great time on the trip (minus the defense portion of it). Thanks to Bob, Tony, and Sarah for making the night memorable.

Is There a Doctor in the House?

My checklist to becoming a doctor (of philosophy, that is):

1. Complete three years of coursework. Check.
2. Pass comprehensive exams. Check.
3. Present dissertation proposal. Check.
4. Work (for a year and a half) on a dissertation. Check.
5. Wonder frequently why the hell why I decided to get my PhD. Check.
6. Defend dissertation. Check.
7. Wonder if I'm going to ever graduate. Check.
8. Sign a bunch of papers regarding dissertation, spend $22 to next-day them to the graduate college. Done.
9. Upload dissertation. Check.

In short, I'm DONE!

That's (Almost) Dr. Struckman to You!

Things went pretty well yesterday. I do have to make some substantive changes on the dissertation by May 8, so I'm not done done yet. But I'm almost there. Almost.

Phew.

For now I'm focusing on getting rid of this hangover. My body doesn't respond to celebration as well as it used to. Coffee. Lots of coffee.

One Step Closer

I just hit send on four email messages. My dissertation was attached. That means it's in. It's in.

Unfortunately I'm not finished up quite yet. I still have to complete my bibliography, make any changes my committee suggests, and submit the final copy on May 8. However, I will be celebrating tonight. For I am one step closer to being Dr. Struckman.

Boooooooyahhhhhh!

Frustrations on the Eve of Finishing Up

My dissertation is due in two days. Two days! Yay! And I'm feeling pretty good about it. I realize that I'm doing something that is not very common, so people don't know much about the process. However, the following list details my frustrations with what I've heard over the past year and a half!

1. No, I am not writing a thesis. Sometimes people write a doctorate thesis, so I understand the confusion. However, I already wrote a thesis for my master's. Been there. Done that.

2. If I'm not writing a thesis, then I AM DEFINITELY NOT WRITING A PAPER! People often ask me: "How is your paper going?" I appreciate that they are interested. However, papers are generally anywhere from 1-40 pages. If you write something over 150 pages, it is no longer a paper. If you write something that is organized into chapters, it is no longer a paper. Just wanted to make that clarification. (In case you didn't get the hint, do not ask me about my "paper." Ever.)

3. Yes, I will finish this dissertation. Often people wonder why it's taking me so long. I'll tell you why... In the course of the past year and a half I have: Had a baby. Experienced post-partum depression. Moved from Austin to Denver. Bought a house. Moved from an apartment to a house. Found out that I was pregnant. Found out that I was not pregnant. All the while, I've been caring for a little boy. So, yes, this has been a long process. But, seriously. Seriously. Cut me some slack. And, for the record, most people take an entire year to write their dissertations. I think I'm doing pretty damn well. In fact, I basically kick ass.

4. Yes, I will get a job. No, I do not know what I want to do. In this economy I won't be choosy. That being said, if anyone has any leads on any nonprofit or government or academic job openings, please send them my way.

5. No, you may not read my dissertation. Although I have been working on this project for quite some time, I am not necessarily proud of it. When I dissect it into conference papers, then you may read it. No one wants to read 150 pages of drivel anyway. My committee members probably won't even read the whole thing. And who can blame them?

To recap: I'm not writing a thesis or and I am definitely not writing a paper. I'm writing a dissertation. There is a difference. Yes, I will finish. Yes, I will get a job. And, no, you may not read this masterpiece.

I feel MUCH better. Thank you for your time!

The Monster Has a Name!

I finally did it. I sat down. Thought hard. And wrote a title for my dissertation. Some could argue that I should have done this long ago. Argue away! Here it is:

"The Toughness Conundrum": Contemporary Mainstream Media Images of Women in the Public Sphere during the "War on Terror"

Is that sexy or what???!!!

DRAFT!

I'm done with the writing stage for my dissertation! I have a full draft (minus the final chapter - the conclusion). I printed out an entire copy of the first six chapters the other day. It's massive! And although it's not perfect, it's better than I thought it was a couple of weeks ago. So now I settle down to edit. A "nearly finished" draft is due to my committee on April 1. That's less than a month away! But I'm not too stressed. I forgot that editing is MUCH easier than writing. I've been writing for what seems like years.

Once I turn in that "nearly finished" draft I'll just have to work on my bibliography and formatting the actual document. That's nothing! This process is nearly OVER and none too soon!

On top of all that news, we are finally all healthy and Benny has been a real treat the past few days. He's saying new words all of the time. At the park today someone was talking about a bucket and he just blurted out "bucket." He's also very interested in counting and the alphabet. He can even recognize a few letters now and he counts with us (although he's pretty hard to understand).

All in all, this winter is ending very, very nicely! Bring on spring!

Grinding On

As I reported a few weeks ago, I'm all set to defend my dissertation in late April. I've been more focused in the past month than I have been over the past year and a half. But it's still not enough. I just can't seem to get enough done. And on top of everything I hate my topic and I'm fairly certain I picked an utterly unimportant subject area. Nothing makes sense any more and everything I'm writing seems elementary. Or, at the very least, it would make a good undergrad paper.

I have re-adjusted my timeline many times over the past year. I MUST have the two analysis chapters in draft form by the end of this month. The introduction and conclusion must be finished by mid-February. That gives me a precious month and a half to edit and get everything formatted. ARGH!

In home improvement news, Nate and I decided to have the living room and dining room re-textured. The texture in those two rooms didn't match the rest of the house and we found a plaster specialist to help us out. As the new plaster dried, we noticed that it was bubbling and cracking in numerous areas. Not cool. So, now the guy has to come over again this week to repair it. That means that Benny and I have to make ourselves scarce for an entire day.

The brother-in-law experiment has hit a few bumps in the road. Matt still doesn't have his car. It was auctioned two weeks ago. So he's still borrowing our car, although I asked him to look into alternative forms of transportation. I meant public transportation like the bus or walking. Instead, he has developed a relationship with a girl who lets him borrow her car. To say the least, it's been a little awkward around here the past week or so.

And with those updates, I'll continue to grind on with this freaking dissertation. I'm hoping that everything else works itself out. The good news for the day: Benny is 18 months old today! A year and a half!

The Light ... I See It!

I have tentatively scheduled my dissertation oral defense date for April 20. That means I have a LOT to do over the next three months. Mucho mucho. But, I am very excited to get this set up and have an end date in sight. I can't express how glad I will be when this whole process is OVER! It's been much more difficult to stay focused than I ever dreamt.

Stay tuned for news of my progress. And stress. And anxiety. And jubilation!