06 January 2009


It's a virtue, as I've been told. And something I'm not very good. Benny has certainly helped me with this problem, but I still have work to do.

I bring the concept because my patience is being tested.

As you know, faithful reader, my brother-in-law moved in about a month ago. He's down and out - he lost his job, lost his car (it was repossessed about two weeks ago), doesn't know anyone in Denver, and lives in our basement. That's not necessarily the recipe for a bright and happy life. So, I feel for the kid. I can't imagine that I'd be doing too well in his position.

At the same time, he's living in our home. The home where I spend most of my days with Benny. It's been harder than I imagined to share this sacred space with him. He's a good kid, but his current situation puts us all in a difficult position. He borrows our cars because he doesn't have transportation (if it were up to me he'd be taking the bus).

Conversely, he does look after Benny a few afternoons a week so I can sneak off and write my dissertation (or my blog, whatever). And Benny absolutely adores him. He even points to him and says "Matt."

I'm a little conflicted about the situation. I'm trying to use it to figure out how to voice my frustrations without becoming passive/aggressive. No luck there. Yet. I'm working on it - along with my issues with patience. As always, I'll keep you posted!

1 comment:

Debbie said...

Sara, my brother has been living with me since Labor Day for essentially the same reasons. I say he is going through a quarter-life crisis. It is frustrating for me sometimes because I just want him to get off the frickin couch, stop playing nintendo, and get into the world. But instead he works 10-20 hours a week at a sub-shop just biding time until he goes back to Philly to live with my parents and continue his "hobby" of coaching high school crew. He hasn't gotten himself involved in anything in Austin really and it is so sad at this wasted opportunity. But besides being frustrated at him not doing anything with his life, it is helpful to have him around. Because he doesn't work much and lives rent free I don't mind asking him to rake the leaves and vacuum and stuff! The biggest hint I can tell you though for "sharing space" is to make sure Matt has his own "hang out" space and just let it be known that the house is yours and that space is his so if you need room you can tell him to leave. That has worked out well with Jason and I.