I Now Pronounce You...

I'm practicing for my big day. My coming out as an ordained minister. That's right. In addition to the many other identities I have, I can now add ordained minister to the list - in fact I did add it to the list, so check it out.

My oldest and dearest friend asked me to perform her marriage ceremony. I was honored. I had heard that anyone performing these duties had to be an ordained minister or a justice of the peace. But, because I didn't REALLY want to become an ordained minister (I don't even believe in organized religion), I sought council with my brother-in-law, who just so happens to be an attorney. Nebraska law, according to his best knowledge, just required a witness for a marriage to be valid. Score. I could be a witness. I could definitely do that.

Fast forward to yesterday. I received an email from "Joseph" with the subject line "Wedding." I don't know anyone named Joseph. Creepy. Oh wait, it's my brother-in-law, Joe. Right. I'm a little slow. Turns out that he followed up on my question (what a good, free lawyer he is!) and a simple witness does not validate a marriage ceremony. Crap.

The ceremony is coming up in mid-October. I had to move fast. I mean, who knows how long it takes to become ordained??? So, I went online and being the frugal shopper that I am (yes, even for something as important as becoming an ordained minister), I searched for "ordained minister free." Up pops the Universal Ministry site. I fill out the requisite information and BAM I can now perform marriage and other functions. In some ways it feels kind of like a sham. I mean, I fill out a form and suddenly I have the "power vested in me."

Not only can I perform marriages, but baptisms, funerals, blessings, etc. as well. My soon-to-be-married friend and I joked that I could found the Church of Sara. And I just might. Anyone willing to send me a few bucks to join? I'm sure I could figure out some scam!