Since I'm having a hard time posting things now that I'm working, I thought I'd share this funny story from a friend...
So here's a heart warming story:
I'm in the back yard playing with the kids while Renee in bed sick. Brody is on the swing, Cloe is running around. I've just pooper scooped the yard not 30 minutes ago, but while my back is turned Cloe finds the one turd I missed and PUTS IT INTO HER MOUTH! I turn around to see her with a half turd in her hand and a look on her face that says "this thing tastes like shit!" So I literally slap the remaining turd from her hand and scoop what I can from her mouth. Then I have to unfasten Brody from the child swing, pick Cloe back up, run inside and rinse Cloe's mouth out as best I can. Then I wash both kids' hands as well as my own.
Meanwhile they've both picked up on the abrupt and drastic downturn in my mood and started that wailing cry that kids do when they realize that the person that's supposed to be in control really isn't. So now I get to call poison control while two kids screech like ambulance sirens in the background. It takes me about 30 seconds to stammer through a polite way to tell the poison control lady that my 18 month old daughter just ate dog shit. It went something like "Um...hi...I'm not sure if this the right place to call, but...um...my 18 month old daughter just...um...found some dog...feces in the back yard and...um...well...she ate it." At which point the poison control lady says "Oh, my...please hold." So now I'm thinking that I've got to take the kids to the emergency room. But no, apparently the lady just had to look up "shit ingestion" in her manual. No emergency room visit is required, but be on the lookout for symptoms similar to food poisoning for the next 24 hours. As I write this, we're on hour 5 of the post poop ingestion vigil. It's going to be a looooong day tomorrow.
(insert obligatory ButTheySureAreWorthIt statement here)