Phat Pat

I have to be honest, I've been at a loss about writing on this thing as of late. I'm done with the postpartum depression string of posts and there's only so much I can write about Benny (he's fabulous, he's complicated, he's amazing, he's difficult, he's the best thing I've done in my life). There's only so much bitching/updating I can do about my dissertation (although I am finished gathering data and I started writing my literature review today - HURRAH!). And just when I thought I had nothing else to write about, I spent three days with my parents and realized that my dad would be the perfect subject for not just one, but an ongoing string of posts.

Here's the thing about my dad: He's a stand up kind of guy. He loves to have fun and he loves for the people around him to have fun. He enjoys hanging out with his kids and making sure that we are having fun. He's an incredible storyteller and a very outgoing person. He doesn't know a stranger.

But here's the other thing about my dad: He tells tall tales. About everything! Some people can elaborate and pepper a story with a few extra not-so-true details and they're good storytellers. My dad tends to pepper everyday conversation with extra not-so-true-I-just-pulled-this-out-of-my-bum details. If you ever have a conversation with my dad, you can assume that about 50 percent of what he's telling you is complete fiction and about 50 percent might be true. So, I've decided to start posting some of the most outrageous quotes he tells me while I'm here. At some point I'll write an interesting character study on my dad. He's such an interesting guy with so many random idiosyncrasies. But for now, the quote of the week from Phat Pat (a name I'll explain in a future post).

THE BACKGROUND

Summer in western Nebraska brings with it thunderstorms that can either bless or curse a farmer. I've been very in tune with the weather since I was a little girl because I feared the thunderstorm as a little girl. Sure, thunderstorms bring much-needed rain to crops. But thunderstorms can also produce hail, a weather phenomenon that can strip crops and render them useless. Needless to say, my dad is also very in tune with the weather.

So, it's summertime in western Nebraska and Benny and I drove home for a few days to hang with my parents. The weatherman is predicting thunderstorms for the next several nights. My dad watches and listens to the weather incessantly throughout the day. He comes home from getting a haircut last night and says:

"There are 10 storm chasers in Ogallala."

And he shakes his head in disgust and disbelief at the weather. Of course, there are probably no storm chasers in Ogallala. In Phat Pat speak that means, "There could be a storm tonight and it might include a tornada, but that's not likely. I'll stress out about the weather until nothing comes of it and then never mention the storm chasers again."