I've had all the symptoms all month: voracious appetite, larger breasts (or so I thought), fatigue, late cycle. The only one that was missing was nausea and I probably could have feigned that symptom too. I was so convinced that I was pregnant that I began planning ahead so that if I was pregnant again I could be mentally prepared for it. Because I am not READY to be pregnant again. I've even been very fastidious about taking the pill, which is something I'm usually nonchalant about.
The little blue line on the little white stick, however, said I have nothing to worry about. If that little blue line on that little white stick had been a person, I would have kissed it so hard. It's not that I don't want to have another baby, but another baby now might push me over the edge. Talk about a close call.
Here are a few reasons why I'm not ready, not to mention the lack of sleep a newborn brings with it.
I was having a fantastic chat session with a friend of mine (and another mom) the other night. We were discussing, among other things, what I call the sick joke of motherhood. Here's what people tell you about being pregnant, giving birth, and having children:
1) Being pregnant is hard, but it's worth it in the end. You can eat whatever you want and people will look at you and say "awww, how nice" because you are procreating.
2) Giving birth is like a gift. It hurts, but in the end you'll have a cute little baby to love and snuggle.
3) Motherhood has it's challenges, but in the end, children are a blessing, cute, full of life, etc.
While all of these are true, they only represent half the truth. Yes, in the end everything is "worth it." But here are the not-so-nice aspects of going through the parenting process:
1) Being pregnant is the equivalent of climbing a mountain every day. The first trimester sucks because the fatigue is enough to kick you on your ass. Not to mention the morning sickness. And the "awww, how nice" thoughts give way to, that woman is enormous - how does she stand up without immediately falling over. Plus, no one likes to look at a bloated lady with an enormous stomach (particularly the pregnant woman herself.
2) Birthing is a magical, lovely process. Although, when the baby moves through the birth canal and through your va-hay-hay it burns. It burns BAD! The contractions aren't so pleasant either. Nor are the pains post-pregnancy of trying to pee, poop, or any other normal human function.
3) Motherhood is infinitely rewarding. Benny lights up my life everyday. But, see the previous post. Also, no one REALLY tells you how being pregnant RAVAGES your body. And when I say "ravage" I mean messes you up forever!
In the end, it is worth it. But I haven't gotten to the end yet and I could not handle another pregnancy right now.