By the time I was ready to push, I was completely and totally out of it. I knew what was going on, but it was like I was on another planet. I was so freaking tired. Nate rubbed my hair and encouraged me to keep going and two additional ladies were in the room to help out.
I wasn't pushing hard enough, so Rosewitha told me that I needed to vocalize lower. Once she told me that, it all came together. I was so relieved to be at the point of pushing because the contractions were less severe and I could actually rest in between them. I may have even fallen asleep a couple of times. After 35 minutes of pushing, Benny crowned. Rosewitha asked if I wanted a mirror to see Benny's head. Although I was completely and totally out of it, I came to long enough to shout, "NO!" Just like birthing in the tub, I had pretty strong feelings about not seeing the crowning. The sensations of feeling it were enough. Nate had also resolved not to see the "crowning moment." However, when given the opportunity, he said yes. Later he reported that it was pretty cool to see Benny's head full of hair for the first time. After another push or two, Rosewitha asked me again if I'd like to see Benny crowning. Again, I snapped out of my fatigue stupor and said, "NO!"
Five minutes later, Benny was out and crying and beautiful. Rosewitha placed him on my chest and I was able to bask in the glow of his new life. I was relieved and happy and, surprisingly, not so tired and HUNGRY! Nate cut the umbilical cord and everyone left the room so that the three of us could be together. Benny latched on right away and started eating. He also took his first poop, right on me! Guess it was pay back for pooping on Nate's foot!
Rosewitha returned to clean Benny up and perform a few standard tests and I devoured a plate of pork chops.
Six hours later, we were on our way home with our new baby boy, Benjamin Jasper Brown. And my life has never been the same - I can't imagine it without Benny.