11 April 2013

Not Looking Forward, Not Looking Back

When I had newborns, kind strangers would offer this advice: "Enjoy them while they're young! They grow up so fast!" I would smile and nod. When I had newborns, I really wanted to fast forward until they could sleep through the night. Of course, I loved my babies, but I had a rough time with newborns. My mom offered really useful advice: "After the first three months, things get infinitely easier." And they did. Things did get easier, slowly but surely. Sometimes the improvement was so slow, I didn't know it was happening until I paused to realize that Wow! This parenting thing is quite enjoyable.

And now I have a five and a half year old and a two and a half year old. Sometimes I wonder How did we get here!?! Time does seem to fast forward. I have nostalgia about when my kids were younger, but I no longer look forward to the future. I like my family right now.

I love that Benny is in kindergarten and is so curious about life. I love that he rides his bike and laughs with friends and drums whenever there's a beat.

I love that Lila is in preschool and making new friends. I love that she still enjoys a good snuggle and loves to be chased and dances like no one is watching.

I love that the two of them have become playmates - friends even. Although I don't always love their shenanigans in the moment (boy oh boy, they can be loud!), it's such a pleasure to watch them make each other laugh, make up games, have conversations.

So, I find myself in a position where I don't want to look forward and I don't want to look back. I want to stay right here for awhile and absorb these phases. Because they don't last forever.


Ann Wyse said...

I completely agree about these ages! They are awesome! It sounds (from others) like it lasts a few more years. I'm hoping they're right!

Therese said...

You know, if you can manage to live in the "infinite now," looking neither behind nor in front of you, you've reached a spiritual Nirvana. Enjoy your peace of heaven.

Amanda said...

beautiful post, beautiful family! meanwhile, please hope that my sleep through the night returns...any day now would be great!

Sara Struckman said...

Ann, I've heard that too. I'm hoping I have a good 5 or 6 years of these fun ages before the pre-teen phase sets in :).

Therese, you described it perfectly. Sometimes I do feel like I'm in a state of nirvana. Of course, then the kids get in a fight or I come up on a stressful work deadline and I feel less than nirvanic. Guess it's the ebb and flow.

Amanda, she'll get back to it! I promise! Love the pictures of your farm. You look immensely happy :).